Kaleb Horton

The Last American Band

Honest to goodness The bars weren’t open this morning They must have been voting For a new president or something X is calling it quits. They’re my favorite band ever, so it’s hard to say that and harder still to wrap my head around it enough to

Bogus Holiday Post: Good Song Titles

It’s Christmastime, which means it’s time for people who make posts on the computer to list things with a little preamble you slammed out in five minutes. It’s an actual time-honored tradition I like, because it’s so easy to list things, and even when you get

Writing About Writing

People have been asking me for writing advice a lot lately. All I really have to say is just start typing until you’re done, and make sure none of what you’re typing is bullshit. The first part takes until whenever your deadline is, and the second part takes

Really Smooth Music

I’m in the home stretch of an assignment, and I should be doing that, but last night I saw a documentary that wound up being so specifically related to my assignment that I can confidently claim this is a rehearsal. I saw the new Yacht Rock documentary on HBO.

Seasonal Content (2024 Edition)

I’m way too tired to write, which is why I’m doing it. I’m finishing a magazine gig and gathering the nerve to stick the landing. God willing you’ll see it early next year. I’m gonna use a word my mom abuses: it feels weird doing

Mining for Gold

It’s the holidays, so I’m making subscriber posts free for the rest of the year. But please subscribe because my only other source of income is telling strangers about times I’ve met Bruce Dern, a job which currently, and I know it’s tough out there, pays

The Least Mysterious Song on the Internet

A few months back, I wrote about a hot new obsession among Reddit perverts: the most mysterious song on the internet. I did this because it doesn’t matter, and part of my problem, my whole bullshit, is I need to write about things that don’t matter or I’

Paid-members only

From the Archives: My Entourage Review

The D*lbert Project

It was 2013, I was starting to develop a Twitter following, and I was mad that media people seemed to be having a good time. So I thought I’d use Twitter as a way to freak them out. That was my entire MO. Just bring the doom. I also

Paid-members only

From the Archives: Writing about Donald Trump.

american election result

The only thing to do is rip the bandaid off, so let’s do it. Walk through the front door in broad daylight.  I spent Election Day 2024 at a polling place in a well-off suburb in California, so my observations have no writerly power or character of place. No

The Unsolvable Problem

It feels wrong to say much right now. People hear what they want to hear, and do what they want to do. They want comfort and pleasure and they want to kill each other. They’ll stay that way until they don’t exist anymore, and I don’t have

Paid-members only

Let's Go Dodgers?

As Goes Akron

This newsletter is sustained by donations and paid subscriptions. Any help is deeply appreciated. I’m also looking for a day job in the Los Angeles area. As always, holler if you hear anything. What the hell happened to the Black Keys? That’s an honest question I ask myself

Paid-members only

The Schwan's Man

London Calling

I never talk about this. Mostly because I’m off social media. I have good reasons for that. It’s a way to think you’re working when you’re actually not. It’s no longer a great way to get jobs. It makes you overrate the importance of ephemeral

Paid-members only

paid post: from the archives, volume one

Memory & Nostalgia

Nostalgia is a drug that eats memory. It kicks in right after you say the word remember, and when it works it starts flooding you with warm and pleasant lies. It’s insanely addictive. Works fast. Everybody sells it. It doesn’t kill you but it can destroy your brain;

A Complete Unknown (2024) Disney Official Bob Dylan Trailer Reaction Review Longplay

The trailer for A Complete Unknown came out this morning and I didn’t want to think about it, but it was either think about it or do the laundry so here I am, thinking about it. I’m aware of exactly how useless that is, but the exercise is

Killing Calvin

I want to be more like Bob Dylan, and I want to get it right, so I study him like my life depends on it. I pore over every word, study him like holy men study the words in red. A recent example. The day after iconic songwriter Kris Kristofferson

Ghosts

In the spring I went to see some petroglyphs. Rock art. It was about a three hour drive, up into the mountains, out into the high desert. Like a lot of the most beautiful things you can see in California, it was a three hour drive through a bunch of

Remembering Kris Kristofferson

Note: I finally got a new computer. That means I can get back to the newsletter in earnest, and also that I’m more broke than normal. Paid subscriptions or donations (my PayPal is kaleb.c.horton at gmail) are especially appreciated right now. And if you live in the

The Only Article Ever Written About Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson.

There’s a new Bob Dylan movie coming out this Christmas, and you couldn’t pay me to see it unless you’re a magazine editor who can pay me to see it. Even if it were executed perfectly, the whole idea is pointless. First because Walk Hard, the greatest

So Long, Bob Newhart

Bob Newhart is dead, and that’s all right. There’s no cause to mourn: he was an incredibly famous, wealthy man, and lived a long good life. He was almost a hundred. He had a huge house in Los Angeles. He spent almost his entire comedy career being universally

The End Result of My Herculean Big Bang Theory Spec

Author’s Note: This is the first newsletter where I’m reposting a piece I wrote that’s no longer hosted on the internet. My archive is pretty solid because I always figured this would happen eventually. In the future, I’ll probably be paywalling archival stuff unless it’s