Mickey Rooney's Potato Fantasy

Howdy all. Planned on a big post but there's this thing I keep encountering in writing: you're out of work all the time, and when you're least prepared, you suddenly get a bunch of it, and on weird deadlines. I have two magazine pieces coming up before the end of the month, and I gotta hunker down to finish them. I understand that's a Cadillac problem (still need a job, please holler if you hear where jobs are) but I need to knock those out and then fall asleep in front of Cary Grant movies nobody remembers for like 18 hours.

Meantime, I wanted to share something that's helped me keep my chin up for three years now: this parody ad by Cris Shapan. It's about a fictional potato-themed restaurant owned by Mickey Rooney.

Explaining a joke murders the joke but this is specific enough that it's worth talking about for a second. I used to live in an old showbiz-adjacent neighborhood in North Hollywood. Robert Blake came by the place once. I heard a lot about Mickey, a lot about how cash-strapped he was, and a lot more about how he was an inveterate scumbag. So I can say with confidence that the fake stuff you're about to see isn't just accurate. It's so specifically accurate it's like Shapan bugged Mickey's phone and wiretapped his agent's office.

Just this morning I drove by the intersection where this fake stuff takes place, and that's exactly where Mickey would have put the restaurant. Not far from his house, cheap lease, and the area was and is real sympathetic to inveterate scumbags.

And the tone of the copy. It's bang on. If Mickey's guys asked for colorful wording on the menu, it would have looked like this if you squinted. Shapan has such a firm grasp of Old Hollywood banalities it makes you wonder if he's Efrem Zimbalist Jr.'s kid from out of wedlock. I have a soft spot for those banalities because they're being replaced by new ones. I don't know Shapan, but hire him right now. Good Lord.